100+ Funny Things to Say on a First Date

First dates are often a blend of excitement and nervousness. While it’s important to be genuine, adding a touch of humor can ease the tension and help you connect. A well-timed joke or funny comment can make your date memorable and enjoyable. This article explores over 100 funny things to say on a first date, categorized to fit different scenarios and personalities. Let’s dive in!

General Funny Things to Say on a First Date

1. “Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
2. “I was going to make a joke about your age, but I decided it might be a bit too mature.”
3. “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.”
4. “I must be a snowflake because I’ve fallen for you.”
5. “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.”
6. “I’m not a photographer, but I can definitely picture us together.”
7. “Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?”
8. “I’d say you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but I’m only just meeting you!”
9. “You must be a parking ticket because you’ve got ‘FINE’ written all over you.”
10. “I’d offer to be your superhero, but I’m still waiting for my cape to arrive.”
11. “If we were at a restaurant, I’d definitely order you with a side of charming.”
12. “Are you a campfire? Because you’re hot and I want s’more.”
13. “I’m not great at math, but I’m pretty sure we’re a perfect equation.”
14. “Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.”
15. “Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.”
16. “Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you’re Cu-Te.”
17. “Do you have a sunburn, or are you always this hot?”
18. “I must be a light bulb because you’re making me glow.”
19. “If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?”
20. “Do you have a twin sister? Because I think I’ve met my match.”

Funny Things to Say on a First Date to Men

1. “Do you like raisins? No? How about a date?”
2. “Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?”
3. “Is it just me, or did it just get a lot hotter in here?”
4. “Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future.”
5. “I’m not a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.”
6. “Do you believe in aliens? Because your beauty is out of this world.”
7. “If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.”
8. “Are you a beaver? Because daaaaam.”
9. “Is your name Wi-Fi? Because I’m feeling a connection.”
10. “I’m not a betting woman, but I’m willing to bet that you’re amazing.”
11. “You must be a great thief because you stole my heart.”
12. “Do you have a name, or should I call you mine?”
13. “Are you a loan from a bank? Because you’ve got my interest.”
14. “I’m no mathematician, but I’m pretty sure we add up.”
15. “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a ‘cute-cumber.’”
16. “Do you have a quarter? Because I want to call my mom and tell her I met ‘the one.’”
17. “You must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all day.”
18. “Are you a keyboard? Because you’re just my type.”
19. “Can you tell me the time? Because I just lost track when I saw you.”
20. “I hope you’re not a magician because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.”

Funny Things to Say on a First Date to Women

1. “Are you a magician? Because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.”
2. “Do you like cats? Because I’m a big fan of purr-sonality.”
3. “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.”
4. “Do you have a name, or can I call you mine?”
5. “If beauty were a crime, you’d be serving a life sentence.”
6. “Is your name Chapstick? Because you’re making me want to pucker up.”
7. “Are you an alien? Because you just abducted my heart.”
8. “Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your future.”
9. “Is it hot in here or is it just you?”
10. “Do you have a Band-Aid? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.”
11. “Do you like Netflix? Because I can see us binge-watching together.”
12. “Are you French? Because Eiffel for you.”
13. “Can I follow you home? Because my parents always told me to follow my dreams.”
14. “Are you a Wi-Fi signal? Because I’m feeling a connection.”
15. “Do you have a map? Because I just got lost in your eyes.”
16. “If you were a fruit, you’d be a fineapple.”
17. “Are you a parking ticket? Because you’ve got ‘FINE’ written all over you.”
18. “You must be a magician because whenever I look at you, everyone else disappears.”
19. “Do you have a pencil? Because I want to erase your past and write our future.”
20. “Are you a time traveler? Because I see you in my future.”

Funny Things Not to Say on a First Date

1. “So, when do we get to meet your parents?”
2. “I hope you’re good at faking it because this is my first date, too.”
3. “I’ve had three serious relationships, and I’m looking for the next one.”
4. “Let’s skip the small talk. Tell me all your secrets.”
5. “Do you think you’ll be the one to make me change my dating profile?”
6. “I’m really looking for someone to help me move. Are you up for it?”
7. “So, when are you planning on proposing?”
8. “I hope you’re prepared to meet my whole family. They’re really nosy.”
9. “Let’s talk about politics. What’s your stance on [controversial topic]?”
10. “I’ve got a really high credit score. I hope you’re impressed.”
11. “Let’s talk about your exes. How many have you had?”
12. “Are you ready to settle down and start a family?”
13. “I need someone who’s really into astrology. Are you?”
14. “What’s your opinion on marriage? I’m really keen to know.”
15. “I can’t wait to see what you look like without makeup.”
16. “So, do you have any weird habits I should know about?”
17. “What’s your biggest flaw?”
18. “I hope you’re okay with me being a couch potato.”
19. “Let’s make plans for our next date before this one is over.”
20. “I’m really into conspiracy theories. What do you think about [specific theory]?”

First Date One-Liner Jokes

1. “Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.”
2. “Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers? He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.”
3. “Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.”
4. “What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.”
5. “Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.”
6. “I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.”
7. “What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.”
8. “Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.”
9. “I would tell you a joke about an elevator, but it’s an uplifting experience.”
10. “Why don’t programmers like nature? It has too many bugs.”
11. “What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!”
12. “Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.”
13. “How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.”
14. **“Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.”**
15. “What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese.”
16. “What’s brown and sticky? A stick.”
17. “Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.”
18. “What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.”
19. “Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot.”
20. “How does a cow stay up to date with current events? It reads the moos-paper.”

Conclusion

A first date is a chance to showcase your personality, and humor can be a powerful tool to create a relaxed and enjoyable atmosphere. Whether you choose a clever one-liner, a playful comment, or a light-hearted joke, the key is to be yourself and enjoy the moment. Remember, the goal is to make a genuine connection and have fun while doing it. With these 100+ funny things to say, you’ll be well-prepared to add some laughter and charm to your first date.